Sweet little lies

pinocchio

We all lie. It’s a fact of life. We use white lies to mask painful truths, make others feel comfortable and protect our fragile egos. We might say we prefer nasty truths to nice lies but even that’s a lie: how many fat people like being told they’re fat? Lying is normal. And it’s OK. It’s completely different from knowing you’re doing something wrong and doing it anyway.

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Breaking bad and fixing better


breaking bad
Frattura de polso
means ‘broken wrist’ in Italian. I learned this in Edolo hospital. I didn’t get as far as learning ‘pain’, before the morphine kicked in.

What I did learn was that Tramodol goes down exceptionally well with brandy, broken stuff can end up stronger and Italian mountain dwellers love a bit of the impossible.

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2014 resolutions? Make them respect-olutions and they might just stick

NYRThe echoes of new year resolutions are still ringing around the streets, even as the first ‘dry-athalon’ casualties slink back to the pub. True story: A friend of mine, one January years ago, joined a gym to get fit. He only ever went there on his way to McDonalds to buy fags from the bar.

What start out as the best new year intentions for self improvement largely crash and burn. Why? Maybe we’ve got this whole thing wrong …

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Next stop: Christmas

2013-Winner-Certificate

It’s done. 50,139 words and my NaNoWriMo writing challenge is complete. It’s a good start, I’m happy with the words I’ve written but there’s still a very long way to go until this book is finished.

For now though, I’m catching up with work and indulging in ‘chewing gum for the eyes’ TV. Phew. Novembers are never going to be the same again.

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NaNoWriMo – the trick is packing it all in

NaNoWriMo flyer 2

In 1997 I went to Asia with a friend. We were obsessed with travelling light and bought tiny rucksacks, easy to haul on and off of buses and trains and use as pillows to help prevent them being stolen.

Great plan, you might think. Apart from the proportions of our packs not matching at all the volume of things we might require or want for a supposed year-long trip. Of course, only once we were well into our overland crawl from Nepal to Goa, did we realise quite how ridiculously ambitious our light-living ideals had been. Thus, we always had more stuff to carry than our bags could hold.

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I can’t grow a moustache, so I’m doing this in November instead

NaNoWriMo flyer

Ever wanted to write a novel? Most of us have at some point thought, Man! This would make a good book.

We might get really enthusiastic about our idea, might even get as far as writing a few notes on a phone, laptop, or – in a fit of romantic literary cliche – a napkin.

Then life, the great dampener of creativity, invades our spirit and the writing spark fizzles out. Or we start over-complicating what it is we want to write.

What’s this story about, anyway? Do I really have time to do this? Who would read it, who would actually care?

Answer: If you care enough to write it, then you should. And as to the time thing, what about you try to write as much as you can but only for a short time – say a month?

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Making mistakes that count means living like there’s no delete key

face-plant640_s640x427I’m pretty sure plenty of people would agree I’ve fallen flat on my face – physically as well as metaphorically – quite spectacularly many, many times. But apart from a few obvious ones like smoking cigarettes and drinking too much wine, I’ve tried hard to never make the same mistake twice.

Mistakes are important – they teach us what works and what doesn’t and sometimes, lead us to create something that works extremely well. So my new aim is not to stop making mistakes, but to only make good ones. If I’m going to fail, I want to fail big. From now on, I want all my mistakes to matter.

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Summer swimming lessons and the art of letting go

portugal sunPortugal. Summer holidays. The kids are exhausting themselves with fun. I sip beer in sunlight dappled by a woven thatch umbrella, beneath which I’m lounging like a sybaritic lizard.

I watch a terrified child in her arm bands, clinging like a barnacle to the edge of the pool. Her father bobs nearby, his outstretched hands insistent but goading. A battle rages between them; his conviction of her safety versus her fear of sinking beneath the twinkling water that looks so inviting from The Edge. Go on, I find myself saying under my breath to the girl, You’ll love it! But you have to let go of the side …

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Why has TV advertising gone down the toilet?

EDF4

EDF: WTF?

Can someone at EDF please tell me what a small, brownish blob has to do with electricity?  I have questions: none of them about switching my power supplier. What is this blob? Why is it sitting in a bird bath and riding a dog? It looks like … it can’t be … is it a poo?

It’s all over their website too. No explanation, just the dog with whatever-it’s-rolled-in taking root on its back. There’s another picture below, of ‘Mr Hanky’ inviting us to ‘play’. I don’t think so. My children squeal hysterically every time it comes on TV, “It even has the pointy end, mum!” Continue reading

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Dubai: wow factor included

DSC03494_2

Everything in Dubai is an ‘-est’: biggest, longest, tallest. The buildings don’t scrape the sky, they pierce it. The Dubai Mall is a labyrinth of the glitziest brands surrounding a four-storey fish tank – with sharks. The ski-dome attached to the Mall of the Emirates refrigerates 22,500 square metres of indoor ski runs – with real snow.

The Emiratis have captured, combed, irrigated and planted the desert, reclaimed the Gulf and filled it with island homes and six-star resorts. In the words of the Sheikhs, magnanimously staring from billboards lining the fourteen-lane highway: impossible is nothing. To most of us, though, Dubai is Disneyland for grown-ups.

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